Relational Drift
What does the condolence note cost over 25 years?
The Condolence Note
20 minutes, 6 times/year, 25 years — the long-term cost is 50 hours.
How the number's built.
The missed condolence note rarely looks final. At 20 minutes across 6 openings a year, it becomes 50 hours over 25 years.
If you changed one thing
Half the openings stay.
25 hours return.
No rush. It keeps until you want it.
A way through
keeping half the openings
1.0 hours/year returned
× 25 years = 25 hours returned
The Math
20 minutes / opening
6 openings / year = 2.0 hours/year
× 25 years = 50 hours
Assumptions
- Each opening lasts 20 minutes.
- 6 openings happen each year.
- Timeline spans 25 years.
- The calculation counts shared time, not relationship quality.
The arithmetic of condolence note
Last reviewed: May 2026.
An estimate built for reflection — not financial, medical, or legal advice. The figures follow the assumptions above.